Song: Tech Support

Album: Surpryzes: Let it Ryde
Track: #4

Lyrics

Backspace
Control, alt, delete
What will it take for me to defeat this
Disease that flows through the internets veins
It's so insane
What a way to use their brains
Malware, spyware, skidmarks in the underwear
Of every computer that these doodooheads infect
Wish that I could sit my butt upon their neck
And make them sniff my farts, yeah, then they would regret
But I'm stuck tryna get my laptop out of neutral
I've got my hands full
Didn't go to tech school
Guess I'll call Rajesh on the 1-800 number
Explain to him my cizzles vegetating like cucumber
Then he'll tell me what to do
And then I'll save my CPU
But first I'll spend an hour or two
On hold as I wait to get through

Hello, tech support, this is Habib
Or as my home boys call me G Straddy
If you're looking for Rajesh
Well, he got fired
He got cocky and looked the boss into the eye
Anyway we'll do an advanced procedure
With a technical name that only techies repeat
On the front of your computer is a big round button
Please hold until your computer turns off
Press it again and it'll come back on
Did this fix your problem?  If not, repeat.
[INSERT UNINTELLIGIBLE COMPUTER JARGON HERE]
So tell me did that fix the problem that you had
I hope you are pleased with the help that I gave
Remember in the future if there's a problem with your pute
These very simple words reboot reboot

Thank you Mr. G Straddy
You helped me show those evil virus makers who's their Daddy
If only to repay you was the slightest bit of possible
I'd find a way to say "homie dawg you really rule"
But as it stands I'll just tell you man to man
You really saved my hiney from this unforgiving land
If that'll be all I shall hang up now
You're charging for this call?
What the hey?
Holy cow

Four hundred 57 dollars and 91 cents.

Will that be Visa or Mastercard?

And the 3 digit code?

You can't find the code?

You crazy Americans are technical dolts!

Would you like to buy my cd?  I'm a sitar virtuoso!

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